Blame the System Not the Victim

It is all too common in our society for the victims of rape and sexual assault to be the one’s blamed for the atrocious acts they have endured. It is more often than not men who rape or sexually assault women (although there are some cases the roles reverse). Instead of society teaching men at a young age about rape awareness, young women are taught and pressured to steer clear of situations that could lead down a dangerous path.

In many instances women are considered to blame for being victims of rape and sexual assault. Instead of warning women to not get too drunk or to leave their drink unattended, society should be telling men not to drug women or take advantage of them when they are in a vulnerable state. Women are also taught to not wear anything revealing because it could attract the “wrong attention”. Instead of teaching men that what a women wears does not mean she is “asking for it”.

When society creates excuses for the offenders of these crimes, it is enabling them. It is telling these offenders and others like them that these actions are okay. Our society should focus on the steps that need to be taken in order to keep our women safe, and to shift the blame to those who are guilty of such crimes. There is no instance a women should be to blame for any type of sexual assault. We cannot control things we cannot prevent and it is disgusting to think that anyone would thing that a women is to blame for their own sexual assault.

By educating young men about respecting the boundaries of women instead of sending young women to a self-defense class is something our communities should be more involved in. By just informing young men about the warning signs of sexual assault and how to prevent/stop a situation from progressing could go a long way. By informing our youth about this issue and merely discussing how wrong it is could also help. Deflecting the blame from the victims is also something that needs to be discussed by many. By blaming the victims for their assault is sending all the wrong messages. In order to get the results desired to protect the women in our society people need to be educated on who is really to blame for these horrible acts of violence.

Describe HER

Tomboy,a girl who behaves in a way that is perceived to be stereotypically boyish or masculine. Then there is the girly-girl, a very feminine girl. Very feminine in her movements. Very feminine looking. Women are usually perceived as either of the two images, a tomboy or girly-girl. Women have always been judged for the way they look, behave and dress. But that is not accurate enough to describe a woman. What if a woman wanted to enjoy the Sunday football game, wear a jersey, scream at the television scream but really did not describe her own self as neither “tomboy” nor “girly-girl”. What if she also enjoyed wearing make-up, getting manicures and pedicures and hated dirt? How will you then describe her? How about she just is herself?

Call her for what she is; call her by her name or a different description that may describe her personality. There are so many names that are directed to describe women and they are so stereotypical, those names wrongly describe a woman’s character. Women would appreciate the respect given to them if they were called by their actual names. And although some woman may identify as girly-girls or tomboys, not all do. Those names, as said in the definitions are just stereotypical.

Next time you see a very feminine lady or a loosely dressed girl, there is no need for the tomboy or girly-girl comments. Perhaps you can describe her as easy-going, chill, strong-minded or unique. Just don’t say tomboy or girly-girl. Describe HER!

10 Reasons Not to Love 50 Shades of Grey

I’m sure we’ve all heard of the erotic book “50 shades of Grey” by E.L. James. This book has not only sold 16 million copies in the U.S. alone, but it sold quicker than J.K. Rowling’s “Harry Potter” series. While there are millions who happily read and adored this risque series, I think I should enlighten those about what’s NOT to love about this book. This book depicts a relationship between a young naive girl who desires the love of a very attractive and successful man. As this story goes deeper into the two character’s relationship, it promotes an unhealthy and controlling bond that is presented.

These are 10 reasons why you shouldn’t love “50 Shades of Grey”:

1. It features an emotionally abusive man preying on an insecure young women and calls it a relationship
2. The lack of care that Christian Grey shows Anastasia is glorified to portray him as some sort of sexual god
3. He controls what Anastasia eats, wear’s, drinks, and how she should perform sexually in a way only he desires
4. If she is unable to fulfill his commands then they will no longer have a relationship
5. This story communicates that it’s alright for a man to dictate his own terms in a relationship and the women has to go along with it
6. He pursues her in a way that makes her think that his possessiveness is a demonstration of love, which it isn’t
7. It conveys the idea that a women’s pain and degradation is sexy and that all women enjoy being controlled
8. That by refusing to act loving, affectionate, or warm to her is justifiable because that’s just “the way he is”
9. He restricts her from seeing family and friends in order for her to be purely dependent on him for everything
10. He convinces her to sign a contract to basically give her body to him so he can abuse it in any twisted/manipulating way, a contract she can’t get out of

Not only does this book support an unhealthy and abusive relationship, it is sending these messages to all its readers. By glorifying such evil and inhumane behavior it tells readers that these are the relationships women want. That a healthy relationship is all about control. There are many more reasons to why this book is damaging to the ideas of a successful relationship in reality, but I think those 10 should suffice for now. 

All I'm asking for is a little respect

“Hey you”,“you’re beautiful”, * whistles * are some of the things I hear when I would walk down a street where I am from. Hearing this almost every day walking from school you get used to it and start to ignore it. This happens to some women all the time and they ignore it because that’s all they can do. As I got older I realized this shouldn’t be something I should get used to or something I should ignore. When I talked to other people about it, they told me that I should be flattered that someone is calling me beautiful and is giving me attention. This attention is something I don’t want or appreciate. It’s attention from strangers and beeping or whistling at me is not going to make me want to talk to you. As women we should all be respected if men want respect from us then we should be treated with respect also. This is a type of harassment and it should be taken seriously. Having men open their eyes to this problem makes it easier to get the word out because they need to realize that it is an issue that needs to be taken care of. No one should have to feel uncomfortable when walking down the street because guys can’t control themselves. Until this problem is taken care of women have to walk down the street with their head held high and they might choose to ignore the calling which shouldn’t be an option because this is not equality if the tables were turned and women started to yell out to men they way they yell out to women they would feel uncomfortable too.

The Flip Side

Compared to men, women are described as very emotional, right? Well, think again. Although women may admit to being very emotional and never hide their emotions, does not mean they are more emotional than men. The reason why you may have felt that women are most emotional is because of the behavior and emotions that women freely spill; perhaps you have witnessed many emotions from women at your nearby grocery store, within your family, a significant other, a co-worker, or even a stranger. Women are more open to share their thoughts and emotions compared to men. But let’s flip this; men are more emotional than women!

Typically men are tough individuals, they walk around wearing a hard shell and may not be as fast to reveal their emotions compared to a woman. Does that make them less emotional?

It actually makes them more emotional. Men are pressured to have a certain image. Men learn from a young age to have to “take it like a man.” Ideally, this leads to society’s image on gender roles and expectations. But in all honesty, we are all human which means we all have emotions. Men just learn to compose and bottle their emotions up compared to women.

A study has shown that men are as emotional, if not more emotional than women. As described on Elite Daily, there was a comparison between 15 men and 15 women. The women admitted to being emotional, whereas the men did not. After receiving the data, results had shown that the men responded as more emotional than women, and were able to hide their feelings better. Ultimately, this goes to show that men will not state they are emotional, because that’s something you’ll firstly hear from a woman instead.

Everyone is different but is all under the same gender rules of society, making everyone similar to a certain extent. That is the unfortunate norm of society. People aren’t allowed to actually be themselves because of gender stereotypes.

http://elitedaily.com/dating/guys-more-emotional-girls/1077730/

Is it really worth it?

Skinny waist, thigh gaps, toned body are all things most girls want in this day and age. Society has made this perfect image of what a girl should look like based on the latest celebrity craze. The girls that have hundreds and thousands of followers on instagram or twitter have the most power to change what society thinks. But most of them are promoting these waist trainers and the followers think that if they have it and their body is perfect then the followers should try it too. Waist training is one of the most dangerous body altering thing that you can do to yourself.  Waist traing is the act of using a corset that is smaller then you are so it can be tight and form your body into the shape of the waist trainer. When used excessively waist training can shift organs because of the squeezing. Thigh gaps are the newest beauty ideal. A Thigh gap is the space between the inner thigh of a woman when standing up. This has a serious health risk because some people are over excersing to loose the fat on thier legs so they can make it possible. There is a difference between changing your body to become healthier and changing your body because you think other people would find it attractive. You have to love yourself before someone can love you.

No More 'Target'ing

As Black Friday sales marked the start of the Christmas shopping chaos, many parents have been out and about finding those special gifts for their kids. Not only is shopping at this time of year a little stressful, but being able to locate exactly what you’re looking for in a store builds onto the hassle.

Target has been working to create a more appropriate and efficient labeling system for aisles in their stores. The signage adjustments they have prioritized have been the toy and bedding aisles for children. Target’s corporate office stated “Right now, our teams are working across the store to identify areas where we can phase out gender-based signage to help strike a better balance.” By taking this step Target feels as though suggesting children products by gender is unnecessary.

When this plan of action was expressed by Target’s corporate office, many parent’s felt as though making such a change was pointless. While others were left with the thought that this was going to remove specific toys that adhered to specific gender roles (dolls for girls, trucks for boys). But in actuality, all the toys and bedding will remain the same. It is just the aisle signs that will updated and the coloring of shelving paper in these sections that are expected to change. By removing colors such as blue, yellow, pink, and green, Target expects to remove any reference to gender when displaying these products.

By making these adjustments, Target is taking a large step for gender neutrality in today’s society. These changes send the message that pressuring our youth to abide to gender specific colors or even toys are unnecessary. This step will help uncategorized boys and girls and group them to the generalization of ‘kids’ or ‘children’. Hopefully this decision Target stands behind will help persuade other stores to do the same. Surely if that is possible, the future may hold a more gender neutral society at large.

My Child is. . .Genderless

I have recently published a blog titled, Gender versus Identity and came across a comment that caught my attention. I decided to respond to that comment through this blog on the topic of raising children genderless.

I first heard of raising a child genderless when it was brought to my attention by a reader from my previous post and immediately began to introduce myself to the topic through articles that investigated this topic. After a few online sources, I learned a lot on the eye catching topic of raising a genderless child. Firstly, let me inform you of Storm. Storm is a very cute, innocent genderless child from Toronto. Parents Kathy Witterick, and David Stocker, have decided to raise their child genderless in a form of freedom; allowing Storm to be capable of deciding his/her own gender in time. No one is aware of Storms biological gender except the midwives, parents, and two of Storms siblings. The families of the couple was sent an email after Storm was born which stated, "We decided not to share Storm's sex for now -- a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a standup to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime."

In response to the comment which asked for my thoughts on raising children genderless, (as well as my response to the decision Kathy Witterick and David Stocker has made to raise adorable baby Storm), it is completely up to parents to do so. I agree with the reasons that Kathy and David has chosen for raising Storm genderless; though there are pros and cons.

A positive is that the child is given responsibility at a young age and freedom. I believe that children should grow up learning what responsibility is, and growing up genderless is a way to do so. I also believe that a child can be raised with their biological gender being known. A chi;d can soon realize whether they are comfortable living as that gender or not; also a form of responsibility and freedom. As mentioned in the article, “Baby Storm Raised Genderless Is Bad Experiment, Say Experts” on abcNEWS, raising a child genderless will cause confusion and can be a psychological experiment, which may lead to a disaster for the child. There are many aspects to consider when raising a child, should parents start consider raising their children genderless?

If you are against this topic, you can also think of the situation as anything else that comes with life. There will always be a positive and negative outlook when making decisions. Everyone has their own beliefs on how to raise children. In conclusion, I do not think the parents of Storm are wrong for raising a genderless baby. But, should other parents take this idea more into consideration after giving birth? Is raising a genderless child a great way to handle responsibility for themselves? Is it a great way to stand for freedom? That is your choice as a parent to make. 

The Perfect "Body"

Everyday we are exposed to a variety of advertisements like the one above.  Whether we look up at a billboard or down at our phone, we are constantly exposed to ads just like this.  The exposure to ads like these is so frequent that much of the time we don't even notice it.  Some people might look at this ad and think of nothing, but the product that is being advertised.  Others are only drawn to see the women behind the product.  There are many people who see these women and see the fact that the expectation for women to look like that is just unrealistic.  These women are not real. They are edited to appeal to others, but just gives people a different sense of reality. The company putting out this advertisement is put out to subliminally tell people that if they buy this product, they too can look like the women in the ad. This is just not real life, and no product is going to change that. Below is what women really look like.  That is real and should be the image that companies are portraying real women with real bodies.