I’m sure we’ve all heard of the erotic book “50 shades of
Grey” by E.L. James. This book has not only sold 16 million copies in the U.S. alone, but it sold quicker than J.K. Rowling’s “Harry Potter” series. While
there are millions who happily read and adored this risque series, I think I
should enlighten those about what’s NOT to love about this book. This book
depicts a relationship between a young naive girl who desires the love of a
very attractive and successful man. As this story goes deeper into the two
character’s relationship, it promotes an unhealthy and controlling bond that is presented.
These are 10 reasons why you shouldn’t love “50 Shades of Grey”:
- It features an emotionally
abusive man preying on an insecure young women and calls it a relationship
- The lack of care that
Christian Grey shows Anastasia is glorified to portray him as some sort of
sexual god
- He controls what Anastasia
eats, wear’s, drinks, and how she should perform sexually in a way only he
desires
- If she is unable to fulfill
his commands then they will no longer have a relationship
- This story communicates
that it’s alright for a man to dictate his own terms in a relationship and
the women has to go along with it
- He pursues her in a way
that makes her think that his possessiveness is a demonstration of love,
which it isn’t
- It conveys the idea that a
women’s pain and degradation is sexy and that all women enjoy being
controlled
- That by refusing to act
loving, affectionate, or warm to her is justifiable because that’s just “the
way he is”
- He restricts her from
seeing family and friends in order for her to be purely dependent on him
for everything
- He convinces her to sign a
contract to basically give her body to him so he can abuse it in any
twisted/manipulating way, a contract she can’t get out of
Not only does this book support an unhealthy and abusive
relationship, it is sending these messages to all its readers. By glorifying
such evil and inhumane behavior it tells readers that these are the
relationships women want. That a healthy relationship is all about control.
There are many more reasons to why this book is damaging to the ideas of a
successful relationship in reality, but I think those 10 should suffice for
now.
I agree with you. I hear a lot of people say that they idealize the relationship in this book. When the relationship is analyzed, as you have shown, it is actually really disturbing and should not set any type of example. It is not healthy, normal, or realistic and women should not look at their relationship as any kind of a goal.
ReplyDeleteDr. Emily Nagoski wrote an informative series of posts on why the trilogy is toxic. You can find it at http://www.thedirtynormal.com/blog/category/book-reviews/fiftyshades/ .
ReplyDelete"...in the end Ana defies the biology of attachment in order to do what the plot demands she does: a woman who has spent 450 pages worried that she made a guy mad is not going to FIGHT after being spanked with her consent. When she’s in pain, she’ll turn TOWARD her attachment object, not away. That’s what mammals – especially insecurely attached mammals – do.
But the plot structure required that she turn away, and so that’s what she does, despite its biological implausibility."
I agree! i think this book is very degrading to women. It sends the wrong message about what a real relationship should look like.
ReplyDelete